Monday, February 25, 2008

If it's time for some tacos, it's definitely not Taco Time

So I get out of work on Friday and I want something quick to eat.  I remember some coworkers at Microsoft telling me that Taco Time is pretty good. It was described to me as an "Expensive Taco Bell" or "Like Taco Bell, but a little more fancy".  
This place is like 5 blocks from my house, so I figure I'd take the plunge to the NW mexican fast
 food scene and give it a shot.  If only I'd known...

My experience at Taco Time was one of the worst I've ever had.  I like food, I'm not all that picky.  I was in one of those "Taco Bell even sounds good" moods, so I thought I'd be satisfied with "taco bell, but better".  I go through the drive through and take a look at the menu.  "Our tacos are so huge, we ROLL them!"  I see.  So you sell $5 burritos as tacos because that makes sense, right?  If you roll a soft taco like a burrito, guess what it is?  A FUCKING BURRITO.  (Burritos usually cost more than tacos, so this business model makes absolutely no sense to me.)

However, the best looking thing on the menu is the "tacos", particularly the soft tacos.  Because they are big.  And rolled like a burrito.  I mean the burritos looked pretty good.  Next thing I notice is they offer whole wheat tortillas.  Not very authentic but I figure if I get mine with regular tortillas I'll be fine.  I proceed to order two $5 veggie soft tacos.  

After I pay, the lady asks me if I would like any hot sauce or ketchup.  I should have asked for my money back and just left at this point, but alas, I did not.  KETCUP.


Anyway, I reply with "Give me the hottest hot sauce you have."

Now, I didn't ask what was in the soft taco.  I've had probably thousands of tacos and burritos in my day, and a whole lot of them were veggie.  Here's what is in a typical veggie taco or burrito anywhere other than taco time: Beans, rice, cheese, onions, tomatoes, guacamole, sour cream.  Basically what Taco Bell markets as a "7 layer burrito".

Heaven forbid Taco Time follow those rules.  NO THEY ARE TACO TIME THEY ARE SPECIAL.  What you get from Taco Time when you order a veggie soft taco is the following:

1.) Tortilla (whole wheat, even though you didn't order it) - Filled with:
2.) CABBAGE (Yes, a shitload of sliced cabbage.  I'll say it again.  CABBAGE.
3.) SUN FLOWER SEEDS.  (I'm not making this up)
4.)  A tiny amount of normal ingredients such as beans and perhaps one or two grams of cheese product.
5.  "hot" sauce (if you asked for it) that tastes like the mild (MAYBE medium) taco bell packet sauce.  And if you know anything, you know that Taco Bell's "Fire" Sauce is the hottest they have, and it is pretty weak, but it makes the medium seem like ketchup.

I was so hungry and having already driven home, I just ate both of these fuckers.  They weren't even as filling as you would expect based on their size as they were mostly cabbage.

I just can't even believe what an atrocity that place is.  Their attempt at providing me with tacos was an epic failure.  

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